Sam: Day 3

I don't know if it was the lack of sleep, the frustration over breast feeding, the pain, or a combination of all of the above, but Day 2 and Day 3 were very hard emotional days for me. When Allie would visit she was bouncing off the walls and I felt like all I did was yell at her. I realize now that it was foolish of me to expect her to sit and be still while cooped up in a hospital room, but I missed her and I wanted her to be there with us. I struggled with my feelings about she and Sam. On Day 3, I had an Ah-Ha moment. For nearly 4 years, there had been no aspect of my life that I had not been willing to sacrifice for Allie. Not my body, my bed, my sleep, my clothes, my comfort, nothing was more important to me than Allie and her happiness. I realize that this was probably not the most healthy of relationships with my daughter and I have apologized to John that he too was put on the back burner if it meant Allie would benefit. And for the first time in her life, there was something that I was not willing to compromise for her, and that was Sam's well-being. This did not mean that I loved him any more than her, but it was simply the first time that I had loved someone as much as the way I love her.

Here are some pictures from Day 3:

 Nana and Sam

 Daddy and Sam

 Allie getting to hold Sam all by herself

 Carly and Sam

And....this pretty much sums up what it was like when Allie visited!