We got A LOT of snow here last week and Allie had a blast. I have to admit, I was more than ready to get back to work once the roads were finally clear. I have a new found respect and admiration for you stay-at-home-moms! I love Allie and enjoy spending time with her, but she is a social butterfly and is used to be entertained by 5 other children at her babysitters and I was not meeting her entertainment needs when it was just she and I. Another fun and interesting arrival, other than the snow, was a new and never-before-experienced level of the Terrible Two's. I really thought that I had this "thing" handled.... I was mistaken, turns out, she was just waiting for the snow days with Momma to turn it on! I found myself telling her that if she was going to scream "No!" at me while throwing something in my general direction, the least she could do was say "No Ma'am!" Don't get me wrong, I try very hard to discipline her and raise her to be respectful, but there are times when her strong-will has me crying "Uncle!"
On another note, God has been speaking and moving in my life, a lot lately, and I want to share what He is calling me to do. Not because, I think you necessarily need to know, but because there is something powerful in sharing what God speaks to you with others, it's as if, once I share it with someone else, I can not pretend it didn't happen. And I have no doubt that someone will read this and then ask me about it, so there is a level of accountability in it as well.
One of the things that I have always struggled with is my weight. There, I said it, it bothers me! I have never been one of those skinny girls who could eat the broad side of a barn and lose weight. I meerly have to glance at a chocolate bar and I gain 10 pounds. But until a couple of years ago, I was able to lose weight fairly easily. I gained weight after John and I got married. Mostly, because I had someone who I knew loved me no matter what size I wore and it was a relief from all those years of dieting so that someone would want, or love me. Then I gained more weight when I got pregnant with Allie. However, I lost every bit of that weight while I was breast feeding. Then my dad was diagnosed with lung cancer when Allie was just 2 months old. He was given 6 months to live and for the next 6 months, I watched my world come crashing down around me. And what do people do in the South when they don't know what else to do for you? THEY COOK! I watched my dad, my hero, turn into a living skeleton before my very eyes, and the fact that I was gaining weight quicker than I had ever gained weight before, didn't seem all that important to me. Dad went home to be with the Lord 2 years ago. Since then I have been diagnosed with a Pituitary Tumor that has caused me to experience hormone irregularity only matched my menopause. I now find myself, over weight, out of shape, and completely embarrassed by the way that I have treated this body, this living sanctuary, that God has trusted me with. So, I am going to journey down the road that is very familiar to me. But this time, I am not going to lead the race. I am looking to God for the leadership, for the will-power, for the endurance that it is going to take to get me where He wants me. This is not about me, my inabilities, my desired.... This is about HIM, His abilities, and what He deserves from me. I want everything in my life to be a picture of who He is. This time I am not doing this so that I will be loved, but because I AM LOVED. Because God loves me and deserves it, because John loves me and deserves it, and because Allie loves me and deserves to have a role model in the area of taking care of yourself.
And lastly, God has called me to start an American Heritage Girl troop in Arkansas. I have been praying about it and researching it for awhile, and I know that this is what I am supposed to do.
This started out as a short post and I got a little windy, so I will post more about my journey with American Heritage Girls later. But please check them out and read about their mission. And if you are in Central Arkansas and are interested, email me and I would love to share more about this journey.
Trusting Him
new follower, look forward to reading more!!
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