If you can't say anything nice.......

I hope everyone had as wonderful a Christmas as I did (I say everyone, as if I have a mass of followers, anyway, I hope you both...). I thought I was share my favorite picture from out Christmas.



This was the Princess Dress that her Uncle Josh and Aunt A got Allie. I believe that she would have slept in it had we let her.





This sums up how she felt about Christmas this year...... She is kissing her Dora doll that her Cousin Lyndsey got her. Every time she opened a gift she would exclaim "I Love It!"



So a couple of weeks ago, John and I made a deal to go all day without saying anything negative to or about each other or anyone else. Boy, was that harder than I thought it was going to be! However, by making it a conscious decision, we were blessed with a really good day, maybe even the best one in a while. It got me to thinking....... I know, it can be dangerous..... Why is it that we tend to face the most criticism, and deal out the most criticism, when we are around our family? Shouldn't our family, and our homes, be the safest place on Earth? Shouldn't we be recharged by our family rather than ridiculed? With most of us taking a big sigh of relief that the Holidays are almost over, no more rushing here and there, no more having to "endure" another family gathering; maybe it's time to decide to make 2011 a year that we live by Mom's rule "If you don't have anything nice to say, then don't say anything at all." I wonder if we would look at the Holidays of 2011 with a little different view.

So that brings me to my most treasured piece of parenting advice. We should be very careful what we speak over our children. I have recently spent some time with a family of Generational Negative Nelly's. And No! I won't tell you who I am talking about. But this family has for generations spoken negative things over their children. I am not saying that they are an abusive family by any means. From most standpoints, they seems very normal and loving, but with ears open and mouth closed, you can pick up a lot. I don't necessarily blame the parents, because they are simply dealing with the low self esteem that they inherited from their mother and father. However, I think that each of us are responsible for how we choose to treat others. I think that how we treat our children, speaks volumes about how we feel about ourselves. After all, our children are the closest thing to "ourselves" as we get.

So let me explain the "things" I am referring to when I say be careful what you speak over your children. Have you ever had a child over to your house and when you told the parent how well behaved they were the parent responded "Well, you should have to spend an hour with them at our house!" Or how about, have you ever overheard a mother shopping with a teenage girl say "That shirt is way too little for you!" As parents, we have been blessed with the most wonderful gift on Earth, next to God's grace and salvation, don't you think we ought to treat it a little better than that?! I don't think that these parents are intending to bring harm to their children, but who said that you can't bring your child up to believe that they are God's gift? They are, aren't they?

I wonder what the world would be like if everyone were made to believe that they were special and important, just the way that they are. My Meme took every opportunity she had to tell me that I was perfect. I still managed to experience enough negative interpersonal conversation to level me out. I just think that there are enough people in the world to tell us that we are not good enough, shouldn't we get enough good things said about us at home to negate some of the bad things?

Schizophrenic Ambition

Let me begin by saying that I mean no disrespect to anyone who may suffer from the mental illness known as Schizophrenia....... However, if I had to describe my day to day ambitions of being a career woman, then maybe a stay-at-home mom, then maybe a working-at-home mom...... a mom who blogs, a mom who paints, or sews, or makes Tu-Tu's....the only way I know how to describe what goes on in this head of mine....is Schizophrenic. Maybe we all have some aspects of mental illness in one aspect of our lives or another. Some days I wake up with a drive to change the world, believe it or not, I have even given about 5 minutes to the thought of holding a public office. Other days, I just want to veg-out on the couch while the laundry piles up around me, hoping that no one will see me behind the towels and socks waiting to be folded. So where do these crazy ideas come from, and why do some leave as soon as they came?

I think that part of what makes life interesting is trying to find that something that you do that ignites the fire of your soul. I believe that God has given each of us totally unique spiritual gifts, and part of our "growing up spiritually" is finding the right combination of our gifts and passions and becoming who it is the God intended us to be. I have taken several Spiritual Gifts Surveys but none of them have ever said at the end....."this is what you need to focus your time doing." So I guess my Schizophrenic ambitions will continue coming and going and with lots of prayer and God's Grace, I will become the woman God intended me to be. In the mean time here is a running list of the ambitions that I have had recently:

1. Become a Blogging Mom
2. Begin Painting Canvases
3. Continue on in school to get my PhD (I graduate with my Master's in May)
4. Work from home for an Online University so that I have time to do some of these things
5. Home school Allie, or be a very involved homeroom Mom
6. Start a Chapter of American Heritage Girls in Arkansas (this one I have kind of already committed to God that I will do)
7. Develop my photography skills
8. Write a book on Test Taking Strategies and Study Skills
9. Study about and teach Allie the Jewish Holidays (We are Christians but I have an interest in learning about our Jewish heritage)
10. Open a Balloon store (like the one I used to work in when I was in high school)
11..... The list could go on forever, but you get the picture.

I'm going to give it another shot.....

So when Allie was a baby and I was home on maternity leave I made my first failed attempt at being a blogger mom. A few months ago, while uploading pictures to shutterfly or photo fish or one of those other online picture stores, I set up another account and vowed to begin blogging. The fact that I can't remember what store it was set up with should be an indication to the outcome of that blogging resolution. So, here we go again..... They say that 3rd time's a charm, so I'm going to put that theory to the test. I am going to post this to Facebook in hopes that my FB friends will keep me honest with this new blogging resolve!

So here goes,
I find myself reflecting a lot over the past year, thinking back over the blessings and disappointments that my family and I have experienced. The final outcome though, when all things considered, is that I am blessed beyond anything that I deserve and could have ever dreamed. 2010 seems to have been a year of trial and error for me. I began the year with a lot of plans and maybe too much ambition. I found out in January that I have a pituitary tumor that has been the culprit for us not having much luck in 2009 trying to get pregnant again. I was started on medication that was to "fix" the pituitary problem and help me be able to get pregnant. As a planner (usually before pray-er) I imagined our Christmas cards this year would be of us sitting around the fireplace of our newly constructed home with Allie and a baby, me having lost about 75 pounds and John poised in his new recliner that we paid cash for along with the house full of new furniture, thanks to the "dream" job that I landed. (Enter sound of scratching record!)

The "blessings" that I thought 2010 were going to hold were not at all what actually unfolded. I was able to change jobs and move to a job where I was making significantly more money.......Only to be miserable and totally unfulfilled by the extra time away from my family it would require. We have had our house for sale for more than a year with no real bites and I was able to get pregnant with the addition of a second medication, only to lose the baby after nearly 12 weeks of absolute misery.

So what were the blessings of 2010 you ask? First of all, I learned that the freedom and flexibility that I enjoy at my job has a price tag on it far more than diamonds and gold. The fact that I can leave work and go surprise Allie and pick her up early is something that I could never replace with any amount of money. God allowed me to taste what the world of a business woman is like and then He allowed me to come back to my old job 6 months later with a new perspective and appreciation for what I have. Secondly, He is teaching me about contentment. He is teaching me that it is OK to want nice things and to want to live in a new neighborhood, but in the meantime, I need to be thankful for what I have and practice being happy in every season of my life. Lastly, He is teaching me just what an awesome blessing it is to be able to be a mom. He knows that my heart desires more children, and I believe that He will fulfill that desire, but in the meantime, I am taking time to really savor every moment with Allie.

So as I look forward to 2011, I want to build on the blessings of 2010 and to hopefully share with you the ups and downs and the simple everyday Graces that God gives this Davis family so that hopefully you can be blessed by the Wow God's of 2011.