A New Design.... A New Day

So you will notice that the blog has a new and improved look. I am so excited to show it off. I am re-committing myself to this blogging ambition. I am graduating next month and I hope that I can fill some of my free time with keeping up to date on my blog. I have several new posts bouncing around in my head right now, but I am going to have to get going if I am going to make it to Allie's Easter Egg hunt at Miss Bridget's. I promise to be back soon with an Easter Post, and Update on Potty Training, an American Heritage Girls Update, and an update in response to the blessing I recieved at the Beth Moore conference. "Oh Beth Moore, what you do to me!" Be back soon...I promise!

My American Heritage Girls Journey

So I have been promising this post for some time now and I finally was able to put into words what has been going on in my heart for over a year. Here is my story:

About a year ago I began reading Dr. Dobson’s “Bringing Up Girls.” This book made a huge impact on the way I view this God-given job I have of raising our Allie. The book spoke of the physical, emotional, and spiritual needs of young girls. As I read this book, two things continued to creep in my mind. 1) I am completely ill-equipped to succeed at this job alone, however praise God that I don’t have to make the journey without Him and John. 2) My heart broke as I thought of all the young girls whose mommies and daddies were truly alone in this journey without God steering the ship. I prayed constantly that I would be able to raise Allie to be a God-fearing woman of great integrity. That task seems so tall that without acknowledging God’s guidance, I could easily be overwhelmed. I thought about the little girls who were growing up without both parents to guide and teach them the importance lessons of life. My heart was saddened as I thought about the little girls who would grow up without knowing that there was a God of the universe who loved them just the way they were. I grieved for the little girls who, without intervention, would go throughout life not knowing what Jesus did for them and without ever coming to know Jesus as their personal Lord and Savior. Though I was challenged greatly regarding how Allie needed to be raised, I was more challenged regarding what I could do about the other girls. The girls who don’t attend church on a regular basis, who don’t have people telling them about God’s love, the ones who don’t have their mommy and daddy there to teach them manners and how to act like a lady.

                You see, God had been preparing me for a long time for this book and the message that it would speak to my heart. I was one of the lucky girls. I grew up with the confidence that people around me loved me just the way I was. I grew up knowing that I was a child of God and that He had a plan and a design for my life. I grew up with a Daddy who told me daily how much he loved me. I now know that Daddies are God’s way of showing you His love in a tangible way. Daddies are a huge part of God’s plan for little girls. This I believe with all of my heart! So because I was so fortunate, it would anger and confuse me when girls that I was friends with would act in ways that seemed so yucky to me. I would get so hurt and disappointed when one of my girl friends would give into peer pressure and behave in worldly ways. I was simply ill-equipped to handle that disappointment and would normally choose to sever the friendship. I have prayed to God many times and asked for forgiveness for the missed opportunities to witness and to show them the love that I was so blessed to know. The realization that these were not “bad” people, but opportunities that God was placing in my path to share Him with them, only came with maturity in my faith. With these realizations, God was preparing me for more…

                Fast forward several years to a time when I am married and raising a little girl who I love with all my heart. I still remember those girls when I look in my Allie’s face and I am desperate to raise her so that she would be strong and confident and not succumb to the pressures of this world. Then along came Dr. James Dobson and a church that God is using to radically transform my family. As I read through Dr. Dobson’s book, I would see the faces of my former friends and I suddenly recognized the hurt and the desperation in their faces. They weren’t “bad” people; they were people with God-sized holes in their heart. They were waiting for someone who knew the secret to share with them. I began to pray not only for my sweet Allie, but for the girls who she will grow up with. I must be honest that there was a time when my motives were more selfish than they are today. There was a time when I saw this ministry as a way to protect my own little girl. By making sure that she was surrounded by God-fearing friends. But through the course of a year, God has transformed my desire beyond that which would affect my family. God has spoken to me with such clarity that I cannot mistake His purpose and plan. Dr. Dobson introduced a program called American Heritage Girls towards the end of his book. I began researching this program and with every piece of information I found, I felt God’s hand a little more strongly. I am convinced more than ever before, that God has been preparing me for such a time as this to begin an American Heritage Girls Troop in Central Arkansas.

                I prayed about God’s plan for a while before ever taking any action. My mind tells me that my life is way too busy for this to be successful right now. My heart tells me that that is exactly why NOW is when God wants me to begin this journey. I have strong spiritual gifts in organizing and planning. If this happened in a time where my life was not so busy, I might be tempted to consider this Ashley’s project. But by His grand design, I can say that without Him this desire will die on the vine. This is the time that God has called me to this ministry because any success that this ministry has will be straight from the Creator’s hands!

So what is American Heritage Girls? That answer comes straight from The AHG Oath:

“I promise to Love God, Cherish my family, Honor my country, and Serve in my community.”

                The ideas of Love, Cherish, Honor, and Serve are central to AHG. Through the scouting-based program, AHG teaches young girls:

·         Life Skill Enhancement: through multi-level badge program

·         Girl Leadership: through multiple opportunities at all levels of the program

·         Developing Teamwork & Building Confidence: through varied outdoor experiences

·         Character Development: through community service and citizenship programs

·         Social Development: through organized special events

·         Spiritual Development: through Biblically-based programming and religious recognition programs

“This sounds a lot like Girl Scouts?” You might say… That is true, it is a scouting program, however, unlike Girl Scouts, American Heritage Girls:

·         Is affiliated and funded through churches, thus eliminating the ability of the government and state to dictate what is taught.

o   Did you know? The Girl Scouts are not allowed to reference God

·         Because they are funded through a church, they are not forced to accept support from agencies such as Planned Parenthood

o   Did you know? The Girl Scouts are affiliated with Planned Parenthood and the girls receive badges for volunteering for Planned Parenthood functions

·         Encourages strong leadership and involvement by men. They value the influence that men, especially Dads have on the self-esteem and morals of little girls. They also see the involvement of Godly men as a way of showing young girls, who may not otherwise have male role models, the Godly design of the male leader in marriage.

o   Did you know? The Girl Scouts have a “No Boys Allowed” motto that chooses to involve Lesbians as leaders rather than allow men to serve as role models for how God intended men to lead the family.

·         Performs background checks on every single volunteer and leader in their programs

o   Girl Scouts relies on volunteers from the community without implementing a safety net for the evil in our world.

·         Allows the leaders and the church to determine the specific content that is taught to the young girls. As long as it follows the mission statement and the values of the Program. This means that each group and make their program reflect their church’s beliefs and values (i.e Abstinence, Southern Etiquette, etc)

o   Girl Scouts provides pre-determined content to be taught without input from the leader’s of the individual groups

This Tuesday, I will be presenting this ministry to the ladies of my Sunday School class. From there I will be hold several interest meetings and God-willing will be applying for Charter Status this summer. I am asking that you would pray for this ministry, that God would use this ministry to change the lives of young girls in my community. I pray that the ministry would be successful and that God would be glorified. I am going to leave you with a quote used in the book that has become my battle cry, if you will, for what the goal of this Troop truly is:

               "From all that I have read of History of Government, of human life, and manners, I have drawn this conclusion, that the manners of women are the most infallible Barometer, to ascertain the degree of Morality  and Virtue in a Nation...... The foundation of the national Morality must be laid in private families. In vain are Schools, Academies and Universities instituted if loose principles and licentious habits are impressed upon children in their earliest years. The Mothers are the earliest and most important instructors of youth" President John Adams.

       You see this passion and vision goes way beyond my sweet little Allie Cameron. My prayer is that my community, my country, and my world would be changed by the interest that this program takes in the moral and character development of young girls.

Allie Cameron

Dear Precious Baby Girl,

I can hardly believe that you have been in my life for 3 years now. When I first saw you at the hospital, I thought that there was no way that I could ever love you more than I did in that moment. I was wrong! You have been one of the greatest blessing that Jesus has ever given me. I hope that one day you get to feel what Mommy feels when you hug me or when you cuddle up next to me to take a Night-Night. I have been thinking a lot lately about how much you have grown up.

This was your 1st Birthday! You had monthly birthday parties leading up to this day, so you were wondering why is was all of a sudden such a big deal. Maybe this is why you love cupcakes like you do? You love to eat 100 calorie pack strawberry cupcakes. Your Daddy even calls you cupcake sometimes, which makes Mommy smile because that is what Papa used to call me when I was a little girl. Oh Allie, your Papa would be head over heals in love with your funny personality. I can't wait until we are all together in Heaven some day. This year for your birthday, you sent Papa and Papaw Sunny some of your balloons in heaven. I know that made them smile.

This was one of your first ponytails. You have always had great hair and I hope that continues throughout your life. You also LOVE playing in the bathie. I also hope that continues throughout you life. Your Daddy and I have to move all of the Cinderellas and Strawberry Shortcakes before we can take a bath these days. I love having a bath full of your toys, it is a constant reminder of the joys of raising a little girl! Something that I have wanted for most of my life.

I love you free spirit. This was taken the weekend that we spent in the Peabody with Mimi. The day before this picture was taken, you went to your first Razorback game. You love to people watch and even though it was hot a crowded, you did great because you were outside, which you love, and you were around people, which you love even more. I am so glad that you took after your Daddy with your social skills. You and Daddy never meet a stranger! That is such an awesome characteristic and it will open so many doors for you to be able to share God's love with people. You have just recently started to introduce yourself and others. It is so sweet and so polite. The other day we had Bryan, Rachel and Linlee over and when they got to the house you said to them "This is my friend John!" Haha if only we could get you to quit calling Daddy John. This just this past week, you were at Chick-fil-a with Naunna and Carly and you were playing when a little girl walked in and you went up to her and said "Hi! My name is Allie!" That just melts my heart. You are so sweet.

This picture was taken when you were almost 2. It was in the Fall of 2009 and we had gone to the Pumpkin Patch. We had so much fun and you ran and played until you couldn't even stand you were so tired. I love how much you love the outdoors. You got that from your Papa. When you were a baby and Papa was so sick, he would sit outside and swing with you for hours. He would point out the trees and tell you that they were Papa's trees. I was like for those moments, the whole cancer world drifted away and it was just the 2 of you on this earth. I treasure and cling to those memories of seeing Papa with you and knowing how much he was in love with you. You were his Angel... sent by God to help him trough the bad times. Now you are Mimi's Angel and you carry her on the days that she misses Papa. You have had such huge important roles since you got to this earth and I am so thankful for your sweet spirit that you seem to brighten the room with your sweet smile and just the right times.

This was your 2nd Birthday. I had not realized how much of a baby face you still had until I compared this picture with your 3rd Birthday picture. You are growing up to be such a beautiful little girl. I pray that you will stay pretty on the inside as well. We have just started saying bedtime prayers with you at night. However, Mommy and Daddy have been saying prayers over you every night since you were born. We pray that you will come to accept Jesus as your Savior at a young age and that you will grow to be a God-fearing disciple of His. We also pray that God will protect you from the bad things and people in this world. We pray that you would have friends who love the Lord like you do. We pray that you would have boys that you are close friends with and that the pressures of dating would not move you from your foundation. We also pray that you would be an influential person in your school and in your group of friends and that you would someday know the joy of helping someone find their Salvation in Jesus. Right now your prayers are full of innocence and are prayers that I know make God smile because they sure make Mommy and Daddy smile. Some nights, Mommy and Daddy forget to say our prayers, but you always remind us and tell us that you want to talk to Jesus. You always thank God for Mommy and Daddy and sometimes for Chocolate Milk and other times for Miss Bridget, Naunna, Nana, Mimi, Papaw, and all of the other people who love you so much.

And this is you today. So fun, so pretty, and soooo smart! You have started potty training and you are so excited to go to School. Right now you refer to Church as school probably because Mommy and Daddy say Sunday School and Church. You love your Miss Shirley(s) and Mr. Ralph. You always have to show Mr. Ralph your pretty dress as soon as you get to Church. You bring such joy everywhere you go! Some of your famous phrases these days are:

• "Are you kidding me?!"
• "I want some Chocolate Milk!"
• "John Cameron!"
• "I want to go shopping!"
• "I want to watch the kids" (a movie that you love with kids singing songs)
• "I want to paly games" (which means you want to play on the iPad)
• "This is my friend_____" (Sometimes John, sometimes Mommy or Mimi)

I'm sure I am leaving some out.... You keep us laughing that is for sure. I am so glad that God chose me to be your Mommy. I love you Allie Cameron.

My Allie Cat is 3 Years Old!

Last Saturday we celebrated one of the greatest blessing the Lord has ever given me. My precious, sweet, loving, and totally strong-willed little princess turned 3 years-old. Her party has been a working in progress since before the Christmas tree was even put up. One of my many pleasures in life is planning parties. Especially if they are for someone I love. Allie is all about the Dinsey Princesses so I knew that this was going to be "The" princess party. I say "the" because I think that the princess theme can be over used, so I have steered clear of using it until I could really do it right. I live by the party-planning motto "Go Big or Go Home!" However, my husband tneds to have to rein me in a little and remind me that this is her 3rd Birthday, not her wedding. So I decided to scratch the huge white tent with streamers and lights in the back yard and attempted to scale down just a little bit.

I am so thankful that my mom has a beautiful new house so that I can throw parties there. I really am happy for her for other reasons, but I thought her foyer was perfect to turn into a make-shift tent for the princess tea party. The thing about my party planning ability is that I have no original ideas. However, thanks to the internet, I can borrow ideas from other great minds and make them my own. Like the Birthday Banner that I borrowed from my totally creative friend Rachel

And the idea of having one of my beautiful friends dress-up as the "Real Deal," which I borrowed from my sister-in-law who, herself, once dressed up in this very costume for a little girls birthday party. It totally helps to have beautiful friends!

But perhaps the icing on the cake, or in this case, the Teapot on the Cake, is finding the right person to create the grand center piece!

This cake was done by an incredibly talented woman in Bryant named Tracie Rich. This cake tasted even better than it looked. The total package.....the Wow Factor! And what party would be complete without the Grand Finale?

What kind of Princess Party would it be if the Princess didn't get a Castle? In this case, an inflatable bounce castle! I love this picture of when she first saw the bounce castle.....

What a wonderful weekend! Celebrating with the people we love the most about the Gift from God we treasure so much! It was surely a Wow God Weekend! Here are a few others from the party.

 The Magic Wands.... Thanks Amy for this idea!

  My Baby Girl is all grown up!

 Blowing out the candles. Funny...but I think she was just as excited about the candles as she was the cake!

Our friend Abigail who was so taken by Cinderella! Precious

The Truth.

So from the looks of things, February was a quiet month for me. That may be how it looks from the outside, but the truth is totally to the contrary. February brought about the beginning of my final chapter in my quest to earn my master's degree. With that brought almost 250 hours of shadowing the CNO at a local hospital. So I get to fit those 250 hours into my already crammed-packed 40 hour work week. I am not complaining by any means.... being back in the academic setting has allowed me to get school and work done during the week so that I can still be a mommy and a wife. But, it sure makes for a busy day!

My last post told of some projects that God has laid on my heart to work on. Here are some updates:

• We have accepted that we are likely going to be living in our house for a while and so we have been working on some updates and changes that we can be happy with until God brings us to our next home. I am honestly OK with not being able to move right now. Truthfully, I don't think I could handle having to move right now. I will post pictures of our projects later.
• We are still trying to patiently wait on God to bless us with our next child. This one is not going as well as I would like for it to. If you will allow me a moment of complete honesty and transparency.... I am heart broken and confused. I look around me and I see so many people who were not following God's design for a family and who were able to get pregnant. I know....I know....that is a sin and it is something that I am praying for help with but again....honesty. Also, two girls who are very close to me and who mean the world to me have gotten pregnant in the last few months. I love them with all my heart and I truly am happy for them, yet with each milestone they celebrate, it seems more clear to me that THEY are celebrating THEIR milestone. I know that I have shared about the baby that we lost in November... well I was looking at an old calendar and I saw that I had marked that I would know the sex of the baby by February. I can't help but ask, Why God? Why am I not able to celebrate MY milestone? So because He is my father who knows better than to try an argue with me or answer my questions, He instead has laid some things on my heart. 1) He is still God and He is still Good! 2) That I need to be worshiping instead of worrying and I need to be praying instead of planning and 3) and this is not something that I think that I am all that ready to soak up yet, but God has laid the idea of adoption on my heart. I don't feel that John and I are anywhere near that point yet, but God keeps speaking to me about it. More honesty.....Why God, Why should we pay all of that money to just continue to wait? I know people who physically can't have babies and they have been waiting for years? He is still working on me with these questions.
• I have been able to schedule my first official informational meeting about American Heritage Girls at the end of the month. I am gong to start by presenting it to the amazing ladies in my Sunday School class. My hope is that some will want to join me on this journey, and that even more will commit to pray for and with me as I take on what seems to be way to big for little ole me! I am going to devote my next post to what AHG is and how I see it changing the lives of young girls in Saline County.
• The Diet!..... Well I have not been as faithful about reading my book as I would like to be. But God can always bring you back. Just this week, a friend of mine said that she wanted to begin reading the book together. That was just what I needed. So I will keep going knowing that I will have times where life steps in and takes my attention momentarily, but this is something that I am committed to do. Please pray for me that I would remember that I am made for more!

Just Be Still....

It has been a super crazy week since I last posted. We have started back to class at work and my Graduate classes have started back. So it is back to this crazy lifestyle that I have grown to expect over the last 4 years as I have journeyed back to school to get my Master's Degree. I am proud to say that I will graduate in May. I am ashamed to say that I already have been looking into a Doctoral program to begin in 2012. What is it with me?

To check back in on my last post, I have purchased and fallen in love with Lysa Terkeurst's book "Made to Crave." God is speaking to me through Lysa's candidness on life and healthy eating in ways I never thought possible.  

I feel that I need to give you a little background as to the things that God has been speaking to me about.

First: John and I have been trying to sell our house for over a year now. There is nothing wrong with our house. It is a very nice house, but we want to be in the neighborhood with my mom, or a neighborhood like my mom's. We also, in a very green-behind-the-ears kind of way, chose a financing option that would lower our monthly payments, but do us absolutely NO good in the future. And something that I have just recently been able to admit....I followed Ashley's plan to buy this house.... I cannot say that the Lord led us or that I followed His plan for us in buying our house.

Secondly: We want another baby. I have shared with you our struggles with infertility and then our recent miscarriage back in November. My heart, and John's, still long for more children.

These areas of desire, if I am not careful, can consume my day. We have had a lady who is interested in our house come and look at it several times in the last week or so. In my mind, she was going to call and make us an offer today. So I spent all day obsessed with checking my phone. All the while, praying and telling God that it was in His hands, but it wasn't HIS hands that kept checking the phone today. One of the things that "Made to Crave" is teaching me is that the same way that I crave chocolate, should be the same way I feel about God. That God did give me that ability to crave something, but He didn't intend on me feeling that way about a cupcake and not about Him. So today, as I stressed and worried about, was the lady going to call or not, would this be the month that we get pregnant or not, my aunt, who is a very wise Godly woman and mom, told me that I needed to just be quiet and listen to God. Wow! It hit me.... I have spent so much time and energy asking Him "Is this your will, God?" "Are we ever going to have another baby, God?" "Are you in this situation, God?" that I haven't just stopped and listened.

As a mom of a very active almost-3-year-old, I can totally relate to what God must be thinking and feeling about my obsessions right now. You know those days when your children seem to be bouncing off the walls and you think, if I hear "Mom....." one more time, I might cut my ears off. You know in those times how you just want to grab them by the hands and say "Just be still...Be still and sit at my feet and let me love on you and tell you all that you want to know" I think that is what God is trying to say to me. I need to crave those times, just sitting at His feet, in total silence and completely still, soaking up His glory and wisdom. I want to crave that precious time with my Heavenly Father. I know that if I had the chance to sit at my Daddy's feet just one more time, I would hang on to every second. It shouldn't be any different for Jesus. I need to Just Be Still...................

Can you find the crazy toddler? Love that girl!

Thoughts for Tuesday

It has been a while since I posted my last blog, so I thought I would post a short one and share some of my thoughts on this Tuesday.

We got A LOT of snow here last week and Allie had a blast. I have to admit, I was more than ready to get back to work once the roads were finally clear. I have a new found respect and admiration for you stay-at-home-moms! I love Allie and enjoy spending time with her, but she is a social butterfly and is used to be entertained by 5 other children at her babysitters and I was not meeting her entertainment needs when it was just she and I. Another fun and interesting arrival, other than the snow, was a new and never-before-experienced level of the Terrible Two's. I really thought that I had this "thing" handled.... I was mistaken, turns out, she was just waiting for the snow days with Momma to turn it on! I found myself telling her that if she was going to scream "No!" at me while throwing something in my general direction, the least she could do was say "No Ma'am!" Don't get me wrong, I try very hard to discipline her and raise her to be respectful, but there are times when her strong-will has me crying "Uncle!"

On another note, God has been speaking and moving in my life, a lot lately, and I want to share what He is calling me to do. Not because, I think you necessarily need to know, but because there is something powerful in sharing what God speaks to you with others, it's as if, once I share it with someone else, I can not pretend it didn't happen. And I have no doubt that someone will read this and then ask me about it, so there is a level of accountability in it as well.

One of the things that I have always struggled with is my weight. There, I said it, it bothers me! I have never been one of those skinny girls who could eat the broad side of a barn and lose weight. I meerly have to glance at a chocolate bar and I gain 10 pounds. But until a couple of years ago, I was able to lose weight fairly easily. I gained weight after John and I got married. Mostly, because I had someone who I knew loved me no matter what size I wore and it was a relief from all those years of dieting so that someone would want, or love me. Then I gained more weight when I got pregnant with Allie. However, I lost every bit of that weight while I was breast feeding. Then my dad was diagnosed with lung cancer when Allie was just 2 months old. He was given 6 months to live and for the next 6 months, I watched my world come crashing down around me. And what do people do in the South when they don't know what else to do for you? THEY COOK! I watched my dad, my hero, turn into a living skeleton before my very eyes, and the fact that I was gaining weight quicker than I had ever gained weight before, didn't seem all that important to me. Dad went home to be with the Lord 2 years ago. Since then I have been diagnosed with a Pituitary Tumor that has caused me to experience hormone irregularity only matched my menopause. I now find myself, over weight, out of shape, and completely embarrassed by the way that I have treated this body, this living sanctuary, that God has trusted me with. So, I am going to journey down the road that is very familiar to me. But this time, I am not going to lead the race. I am looking to God for the leadership, for the will-power, for the endurance that it is going to take to get me where He wants me. This is not about me, my inabilities, my desired.... This is about HIM, His abilities, and what He deserves from me. I want everything in my life to be a picture of who He is. This time I am not doing this so that I will be loved, but because I AM LOVED. Because God loves me and deserves it, because John loves me and deserves it, and because Allie loves me and deserves to have a role model in the area of taking care of yourself.

And lastly, God has called me to start an American Heritage Girl troop in Arkansas. I have been praying about it and researching it for awhile, and I know that this is what I am supposed to do.

This started out as a short post and I got a little windy, so I will post more about my journey with American Heritage Girls later. But please check them out and read about their mission. And if you are in Central Arkansas and are interested, email me and I would love to share more about this journey.

Trusting Him